Text Examples for
Occupational

October 16
National Boss's Day

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A Policeman's Prayer:
Oh Almighty God,
Whose Great Power And Eternal Wisdom Embraces The Universe,
Watch Over All Policemen and Law Enforcement Officers.
Protect Them From Harm In The Performance Of Their Duty
To Stop Crime, Robberies, Riots And Violence.
We Pray, Help Them Keep Our Streets And Homes Safe Day And Night.
We Recommend Them To Your Loving Care Because Their Duty Is Dangerous.
Grant Them Your Unending Strength and Courage In Their Daily Assignments.
Dear God, Protect These Brave Men & Women,
Grant Them Your Almighty Protection,
Unite Them Safely With Their Families After Duty Has Ended.
Amen.
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Teacher Joke:
Mother: Come on John you have to get out of bed or you'll be late for school.
John: Ahh mom do I have to, all the teachers hate me, and all the students hate me too.
Mother: Yes you do.
John: Give me a good reason.
Mother: You're 44 and you're the Principal!
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Farmer Quote:
Dad always said, "the cows are not getting their square meals by eating those round bales of hay."
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Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790);:
"An investment in knowledge pays the best interest."
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William Cowper (1731-1800):
"Knowledge is proud that he has learned so much;
Wisdom is humble that he knows no more."
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Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882):
"Men love to wonder, and that is the seed of science."
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Aldous Huxley (1894 - 1963):
After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.
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Pastor Joke:
A new pastor was visiting in the homes of his parishioners. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a card and wrote "Revelation 3:20" on the back of it and stuck it in the door.

When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, "Genesis 3:10."

Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter.

Revelation 3:20 begins "Behold, I stand at the door and knock." Genesis 3:10 reads, "I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for I was naked."
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Marriage (Part III):
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house.

After some time, he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer the phone?"

She says, "I was in bed."

"In bed this early, doing what?"

"Getting a second opinion!"
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FIVE BEST THINGS TO SAY IF YOU GET CAUGHT SLEEPING AT YOUR DESK::
5. " They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen"

4. "this is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the time management course you sent me to."

3. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the Whiteout....you probably got here just in time."

2. "Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put your ear down real close?"

and the NUMBER ONE best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk.....

1. Raise your head slowly and say, "....in Jesus' name, Amen."
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A Cop on the Take:
First he takes the oath.
Now look at all he takes---

He takes it in stride when people call him a pig.
He takes time to stop and talk to children.
He takes your verbal abuse while giving you a ticket that you deserve...
He takes on creeps that you would be afraid to even look at.

He takes time away from his family to keep you safe.
He takes your injured children to the hospital.
He takes the graveyard shift without complaint because it's his turn.
He takes his life into his hands daily.

He takes you home when your car breaks down.
He takes time to explain why both of your headlights have to work.
He takes the job that no one else wants---
telling you that a loved one has died.

He takes criminals to jail.
He takes in sights that would make you cry.
Sometimes he cries too, but he takes it anyway because someone has to.

If he is lucky, he takes a retirement.
He takes memories to bed each night,
that you couldn't bear for one day!
Sometimes he takes a bullet.
And yes, occasionally he takes a free cup of coffee.
Then one day he pays for all he has taken...

GOD takes him!
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A Firefighter's Glove:
A Firefighter's Gloves hold many things,
From elderly arms to a kids broken swing,
From the hands they shake and the backs they pat,
To the tiny claw marks of another treed cat.

At 2 am they are filled with the chrome,
From the DWI who was on her way home.
And the equipment they use to roll back the dash,
From a family of 6 she involved in the crash.

The brush rakes in Spring wear the palms out,
When the wind does a "90" to fill them with doubt.
The thumb of the glove wipes the sweat from the brow,
Of the face of a firefighter who mutters "What now"!

They hold inch and three quarters flowing one seventy five,
So the ones going in, come back out alive.
When the regulator goes; then there isn't too much,
But the bypass valve they eagerly clutch.

The rescue equipment, the ropes, the C-collars;
The lives that they save never measured in dollars,
Are the obvious things firefighters gloves hold,
Or, so that is what I've been always told.

But there are other things Firefighter's Gloves touch,
Those are the things we all need so much.
They hold back the rage on that 3 am call,
They hold in the fear when your lost in a hall,
They hold back the pity, agony, sorrow.
They hold in the desire to "Do it tomorrow".

A glove is just a glove till it's on firefighter,
Who work all day long just to pull an all-nighter.
And into the foray they charge without fear,
At the sound of a "Help" they think that they hear.

When firefighters' hands go into the glove,
It's a firefighter who always fills it with love.
Sometimes the sorrow is too much to bear,
And it seeps the glove and burns deep "in there".

Off come the gloves when the call is done,
And into the pocket until the next run.
The hands become lonely and cold for a bit,
And shake just a little thinking of it.

And we sit there so red eyed with our gloves in their coats,
The tears come so fast that the furniture floats.
We're not so brave now; our hands we can't hide,
I guess it just means that we're human inside.

And though some are paid and others are not,
The gloves feel the same when it's cold or it's hot.
To someone you're helping to just get along,
When you fill them with love, you always feel strong.

And so when I go on my final big ride,
I hope to have my gloves by my side,
To show to St. Peter at that heavenly gate.
Cause as everyone knows, Firefighters do not wait!
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A Teacher's Prayer:
I want to teach my students how
To live this life on Earth.
To face it's struggles and it's strife
And to improve their worth.
Not just the lesson in a book
Or how the rivers flow,
But how to choose the proper path
Wherever they may go.
To understand eternal truth
And know the right from wrong,
And gather all the beauty of
A flower and a song.
For if I help the world to grow
In wisdom and in grace,
Then I shall feel that I have won
And I have filled my place.
And so I ask your guidance, God,
That I may do my part.
For character and confidence
And happiness of heart.
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Accident:
A farmer named Clyde had a car accident. In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning Clyde.

"Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,'?" asked the lawyer.

Clyde responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule, Bessie, into the.."

"I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?"

Clyde said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road...."

The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Clyde 's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite mule, Bessie".

Clyde thanked the Judge and proceeded, "Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting, real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear ole Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans.

Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her fatal condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.

Then the Patrolman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, "How are you feeling?"

"Now what the heck would you say?
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