Text Examples for
Miscellaneous

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Happy Birthday Translations:
Language How to say "Happy Birthday"

Afrikaans Veels geluk met jou verjaarsdag!
Albanian Urime ditelindjen!
Alsatian Gueter geburtsdaa!
Amharic Melkam lidet!
Arabic Eid milaad saeed! or Kul sana wa inta/i tayeb/a! (masculine/feminine)
Armenian Taredartzet shnorhavor! or Tsenund shnorhavor!
Assyrian Eida D'moladukh Hawee Brikha!
or bidyaldukh hoya brikhta
Austrian-Viennese Ois guade winsch i dia zum Gbuadsdog!
Aymara (Bolivia) Suma Urupnaya Cchuru Uromankja!
Azerbaijani Ad gununuz mubarek! -- for people older than you
Ad gunun mubarek! -- for people younger than you
Basque Zorionak!
Belauan-Micronesian Ungil el cherellem!
Bengali (Bangladesh/India) Shuvo Jonmodin!
Bicol (Philippines) Maogmang Pagkamundag!
Bislama (Vanuatu) Hapi betde! or Yumi selebretem de blong bon blong yu!
Brazil Parabens a voce! or Parabens e muitas
Breton Deiz-ha-bloaz laouen deoc'h!
Bulgarian Chestit Rojden Den!
Cambodian Som owie nek mein aryouk yrinyu!
Catalan Per molts anys! or Bon aniversari! or Moltes Felicitats!
Chamorro Biba Kumplianos!
Chinese-Cantonese Sun Yat Fai Lok!
Chinese Fuzhou San Ni Kuai Lo!
Chiness-Hakka Sang Ngit Fai Lok!
Chinese-Mandarin Zhu ni sheng ri kuai le.
Chinese-Shanghaiese San ruit kua lok!
Chinese-Tiociu Se Jit khuai lak!
Chronia Polla NA ZHSHS
Croatian Sretan Rodendan!
Czech Vsechno nejlepsi k Tvym narozeninam!!
Danish Tillykke med fodselsdagen!
Dutch-Antwerps Ne gelukkege verjoardach!
Dutch-Bilzers Ne geleukkege verjoardoag!
Dutch-Drents Fellisiteert!
Dutch-Flemish Gelukkige verjaardag! or Prettige verjaardag!
Dutch-Frisian Fan herte lokwinske!
Dutch-Limburgs Proficiat! or Perfisia!
Dutch-Spouwers Ne geleukkege verjeurdoag!
Dutch-Twents Gefeliciteard met oen'n verjoardag!
Dutch Hartelijk gefeliciteerd! or Van harte gefeliciteerd met je verjaardag!
English Happy Birthday!
Esperanto Felichan Naskightagon!
Estonian Palju onne sunnipaevaks!
Euskera Zorionak zure urtebetetze egunean!
Faroes ( Faroe island ) Tillukku vid fodingardegnum!
Farsi Tavalodet Mobarak!
Finnish Hyvaa syntymapaivaa!
French (Canada) Bonne Fete!
French (Canada) Bonne Année!
French Joyeux Anniversaire!
Frisian Lokkiche jierdei!
Gaelic (Irish) Lá breithe mhaith agat!
Gaelic (Scottish) Co` latha breith sona dhuibh!
Galician (Spain) Ledicia no teu cumpreanos!
Georgian Gilotcav dabadebis dges!
German-Badisch Allis Guedi zu dim Fescht!
German-Bavarian Ois Guade zu Deim Geburdstog!
German-Berlinisch Allet Jute ooch zum Jeburtstach! or Ick wuensch da allet Jute zum Jeburtstach!
German-Bernese Es Muentschi zum Geburri!
German-Camelottisch Ewllews Gewtew zewm Gewbewrtstewg. Mew!
German-Frankonian Allmecht! Iich wuensch Dir aan guuadn Gebuardsdooch!
German-Lichtenstein Haerzliche Glueckwuensche zum Geburtstag!
German-Moselfraenkisch Haezzlische Glickwunsch zem Gebordsdach!
German-Plattdeutsch Ick wuensch Di allns Gode ton Geburtsdach!
German-Rhoihessisch Ich gratelier Dir aach zum Geburtstag!
German-Ruhr Allet Gute zum Gebuatstach!
German-Saarlaendisch Alles Gudde for dei Gebordsdaach!
German-Saechsisch Herzlischen Gliggwunsch zum Geburdsdaach!
German-Schwaebisch Aelles Guade zom Gebordzdag!
German-Wienerisch Ois Guade zum Geburdsdog!
German Alles Gute zum Geburtstag!
Greek Eytyxismena Genethlia! or Chronia Pola!
Greenlandic Inuuinni pilluarit!
Gronings (Netherlands) Fielsteerd mit joen verjoardag!
Gujarati (India) Janma Divas Mubarak!
Gujrati (Pakistan) Saal Mubarak!
Guarani (Paraguay Indian)] Vy-Apave Nde Arambotyre!
Hawaiian Hau`oli la hanau!
Hebrew Yom Huledet Same'ach!
Hiligaynon (Philippines) Masadya gid nga adlaw sa imo pagkatawo!
Hindi (India) Janam Din ki badhai! or Janam Din ki shubkamnaayein!
Hungarian Boldog szuletesnapot! or Isten eltessen!
Icelandic Til hamingju med afmaelisdaginn!
Indonesian Selamat Ulang Tahun!
Irish-gaelic La-breithe mhaith agat! or Co` latha breith sona dhut! Or Breithla Shona Dhuit!
Italian Buon Compleanno!
Italian (Piedmont) Bun Cumpleani!
Italian (Romagna) At faz tent avguri ad bon cumplean!
Japanese Otanjou-bi Omedetou Gozaimasu!
Javaans-Indonesia Slamet Ulang Taunmoe!
Jerriais Bouon Anniversaithe!
Kannada (India) Huttida Habba Subashayagalu!
Kapangpangan (Philippines) Mayap a Kebaitan
Kashmiri (India) Voharvod Mubarak Chuy!
Kazakh (Kazakstan) Tughan kuninmen!
Klingon Quchjaj qoSlIj!
Korean Saeng il chuk ha ham ni da!
Kurdish Rojbun a te piroz be!
Kyrgyz Tulgan kunum menen!
Latin Fortuna dies natalis!
Latvian Daudz laimes dzimsanas diena!
Lithuanian Sveikinu su gimtadieniu! or Geriausi linkejimaigimtadienio progal
Luganda Nkwagaliza amazalibwa go amalungi!
Luxembourgeois Vill Gleck fir daei Geburtsdaag!
Macedonian Sreken roden den!
Malayalam (India) Pirannal Aasamsakal! or Janmadinasamsakal!
Malaysian Selamat Hari Jadi!
Maltese Nifrahlek ghal gheluq sninek!
Maori Kia huritau ki a koe!
Marathi (India) Wadhdiwasachya Shubhechha!
Mauritian Kreol mo swet u en bonlaniverser!
Mbula (Umboi Island, Papua New Guinea) Leleng ambai pa mbeng ku taipet i!
Mongolian Torson odriin mend hurgee!
Navajo bil hoozho bi'dizhchi-neeji' 'aneilkaah!
Niederdeutsch (North Germany) Ick gratuleer di scheun!
Nepali Janma dhin ko Subha kamana!
Norwegian Gratulerer med dagen!
Oriya (India) Janmadina Abhinandan!
Papiamento (lower Dutch Antilles) Masha Pabien I hopi aņa mas!
Pashto (Afganistan) Padayish rawaz day unbaraksha!
Persian Tavalodet Mobarak!
Pinoy (Philippines) Maligayang kaarawan sa iyo!
Polish Wszystkiego Najlepszego! or Wszystkiego najlepszego zokazji urodzin!
wszystkiego najlepszego z okazji urodzin
Portuguese (Brazil) Parabens pelo seu aniversario! or Parabenspara voce! or Parabens e muitas felicidades!
Portuguese Feliz Aniversario! or Parabens!
Punjabi (India) Janam din diyan wadhayian!
Rajasthani (India) Janam ghaanth ri badhai, khoob jeeyo!
Romanian La Multi Ani!
Rosarino Basico (Argentina) Feneligiz Cunumplegeanagonos!
Russian S dniom razhdjenia! or Pazdravliayu s dniom razhdjenia!
Sami/Lappish Lihkos Riegadanbeaivvis!
Samoan Manuia lou aso fanau!
Sanskrit (India) Ravihi janmadinam aacharati!
Sardinian (Italy) Achent'annos! Achent'annos!
Schwyzerduetsch (Swiss German) Vill Glück zum Geburri!
Serbian Srecan Rodjendan!
Slovak Vsetko najlepsie k narodeninam!
Slovene Vse najboljse za rojstni dan!
Sotho Masego motsatsing la psalo!
Spanish Feliz Cumpleaņos!
Sri Lankan Suba Upan dinayak vewa!
Sundanese Wilujeng Tepang Taun!
Surinamese Mi fresteri ju!
Swahili Hongera! or Heri ya Siku kuu!
Swedish Grattis pa fodelsedagen!
Syriac Tahnyotho or brigo!
Tagalog (Philippines) Maligayang Bati Sa Iyong Kaarawan!
Taiwanese San leaz quiet lo!
Tamil (India) Piranda naal vaazhthukkal!
Telugu (India) Janmadina subha kankshalu!
Telugu Puttina Roju Shubakanksalu!
Thai Suk San Wan Keut!
Tibetan Droonkher Tashi Delek!
Tulu(Karnataka - India) Putudina dina saukhya!
Turkish Dogum gunun kutlu olsun!
Ukrainian Mnohiya lita! or Z dnem narodjennia!
Urdu (India) Janam Din Mubarak
Urdu (Pakistan) Saalgirah Mubarak!
Vietnamese Chuc Mung Sinh Nhat!
Visayan (Philippines) Malipayong adlaw nga natawhan!
Welsh Penblwydd Hapus i Chi!
Xhosa (South Afican) Imini emandi kuwe!
Yiddish A Freilekhn Gebortstog!
Yoruba (Nigeria) Eku Ojobi!
Zulu (South Afican) Ilanga elimndandi kuwe!
[ top ]     
William Shakespeare:
"Love all, trust a few. Do wrong to none".
[ top ]     
My Shadow:
I have a little shadow that goes in and out with me,
And what can be the use of him is more than I can see.
he is very, very like me from the heels up to the head
And I see him jump before me, when I jump into my bed.

The funniest thing about this is the way he likes to grow
Not at all like proper children, which is always very slow;
For he sometimes shoots up taller than an india-rubber ball,
And he sometimes gets so little that there's none of him at all.

And he hasn't got a notion of how children ought to play,
And he can only make a fool of me in every sort of way.
He stays so close behind me, he's a coward you can see;
I'd think shame to stick to nursie as that shadow sticks to me.

One morning, very early, before the sun was up,
I rose and found the shining dew on every buttercup;
But my lazy little shadow, like an errant sleepy-head,
Had stayed at home behind me and was fast asleep in bed.
[ top ]     
Me and My Shadow:
Me and my shadow
Walking down the avenue,
Me and my shadow
No one else to tell my troubles to.
And when it's twelve o'clock,
I climb the stairs,
I never knock,
Cos nobody's there.
Just me and my shadow
All alone and feeling blue.
[ top ]     
Jim Rohn:
"Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present."
[ top ]     
Carl Jung:
"Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word
happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. It is
far better to take things as they come along with patience and equanimity."
[ top ]     
Fredrick Koeing:
"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting
something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating
what we do have."
[ top ]     
Franklin D. Roosevelt:
"Happiness...it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort."
[ top ]     
Victor Hugo:
The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved - loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves."
[ top ]     
Lord Byron:
"To have joy one must share it. Happiness was born a twin."
[ top ]     
Lewis Carrol (1832-1898); English author.:
"You are sure to get anywhere, if you only walk long enough."
[ top ]     
Marcus Tullius Cicero (106 AC-43 B.C.):
"It is not enough to have wisdom, you need to know how to use it."
[ top ]     
Khahil Gibran (1883-1931):
"If you reveal your secrets to the wind,
you should not blame the wind for revealing them to the trees."
[ top ]     
George Sand:
One is happy as a result of one's own efforts - once one knows the necessary ingredients of happiness - simple tastes, a certain degree of courage, self-denial to a point, love of work, and above all, a clear conscience.
[ top ]     
Igor Feodorovich Stravinsky (1882-1971); Russian composer.:
"I haven't understood a bar of music in my life, but I've felt it."
[ top ]     
William Shakespeare (1564-1616):
"What's done cannot be undone."
[ top ]     
Quintus Curtius Rufus (1st Century BC); Roman Historian.:
"The deepest rivers flow with the least sound."
[ top ]     
Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965):
"Out of intense complexities intense simplicities emerge."
[ top ]     
José Ortega y Gasset (1883-1955):
"Effort is only effort when it begins to hurt."
[ top ]     
Archimedes (285 - 212 BC):
"Give me a place to stand and a lever long enough and I will move the world."
[ top ]     
Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790):
"An investment in knowledge pays the best interest."
[ top ]     
German Proverb:
"Fall seven times, stand up eight."
[ top ]     
Victor Hugo (1802-1885):
"Many great actions are committed in small struggles."
[ top ]     
Averroes (1126-1198):
"Knowledge is the conformity of the object and the intellect."
[ top ]     
Albert Einstein (1879-1955):
"The most incomprehensible fact about the universe is that it is comprehensible."
[ top ]     
John Fowles:
"The supposed great misery of our century is the lack of time."
[ top ]     
Sir Francis Bacon (1561-1626):
"Studies perfect nature and are perfected still by experience."
[ top ]     
William Shakespeare (1564-1616):
"To fear the worst oft cures the worse."
[ top ]     
Miguel de Cervantes (1547-1616):
"Be brief, for no discourse can please when too long."
[ top ]     
Marshall McLuhan (1911-80):
"For tribal man space was the uncontrollable mystery.
For technological man it is time that occupies the same role."
[ top ]     
Lawrence Sterne (1713-1768):
"The desire of knowledge, like the thirst for riches, increases ever with the acquisition of it."
[ top ]     
A. Szent-Györgyi (1893-1986):
"The essence of science lies not in discovering facts but in discovering new ways of thinking about them."
[ top ]     
Sir Francis Bacon (1561-1626):
"Truth is the daughter of time, not of authority."
[ top ]     
Albert Camus (1913-60):
"The struggle itself towards the heights is enough to fill a man's heart."
[ top ]     
Immanuel Kant (1724-1804):
"Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life."
[ top ]     
Albert Einstein (1879-1955):
"Imagination is more important than knowledge."
[ top ]     
Lucius Annaeus Seneca (2BC-65AD):
"It is never too late to learn what is always necessary to know."
[ top ]     
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832):
"Thinking and doing, doing and thinking - and these are the sum of all wisdom."
[ top ]     
Greek Translations:
Godfather.............................Nonos
Godmother...........................Nona
Grandfather..........................Pappous
Grandmother........................Yiayia
[ top ]     
Sir Francis Bacon (1561-1626):
"Studies perfect nature and are perfected still by experience."
[ top ]     
Baltasar Gracian (1601 - 1658):
"Know or listen to those who know."
[ top ]     
Lawrence Sterne (1713-1768):
"The desire of knowledge, like the thirst for riches, increases ever with the acquisition of it."
[ top ]     
Albert Einstein (1879-1955):
"Imagination is more important than knowledge."
[ top ]     
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832):
"Thinking and doing, doing and thinking and these are the sum of all wisdom."
[ top ]     
Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882):
"Knowledge is the antidote to fear."
[ top ]     
Witter Bynner (1881-1968):
"The biggest problem in the world could have been solved when it was small."
[ top ]     
William Shakespeare (1564-1616):
"What is past is prologue."
[ top ]     
Konstantin Tsiolkovsky (1857-1935):
"The impossible today will become possible tomorrow."
[ top ]     
Marcel Proust (1871-1922):
"We don't receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves
after a journey that no one can take us or spare us."
[ top ]     
George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950):
"In this world there is always danger for those who are afraid of it."
[ top ]     
Edgar Allan Poe (1809-1849):
"Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things that escape those who dream only at night."
[ top ]     
Benjamin Disraeli (1804-1881):
"Patience is a necessary ingredient of genius."
[ top ]     
Niels Bohr (1885-1962):
"Every sentence I utter must be understood not as an affirmation, but as a question."
[ top ]     
Dale Turner:
If our vocabulary did not contain the words trouble, adversity, calamity and grief, it could not contain the words, bravery, patience and self-sacrifice.
Those who know no hardships will know no hardihood. Those who face no calamity will need no courage. Mysterious though it is, the human characteristics we admire most grow in a soil with a strong mixture of trouble.
[ top ]     
Louis Aragon:
"Light is meaningful only in relation to darkness, and truth presupposes error."
[ top ]     
John Powell:
"The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing."
[ top ]     
Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe:
"Mountains cannot be surmounted except by winding paths."
[ top ]     
Sķcrates:
"The past has its own codes and customs."
[ top ]     
Samuel Johnson:
"Language is the dress of thought."
[ top ]     
Edward George Bulwer-Lytton:
"Fate laughs at probabilities."
[ top ]     
Ambrose Bierce:
"There is nothing new under the sun, but there are lots of old things we don't know about."
[ top ]     
Joseph Addison:
"The utmost extent of man's knowledge, is to know that he knows nothing."
[ top ]     
Heraclitus of Ephesos:
"In the circle the beginning and the ending are common."
[ top ]     
Pier Paolo Pasolini:
"The best in life is its past, present and future."
[ top ]     
Blaise Pascal (1623-1662):
"For it is far better to know something about everything
than to know all about one thing. This universality is the best."
[ top ]     
John Steinbeck (1902-68):
"It is the nature of a man as he grows older, a small bridge in time,
to protest against change, particularly change for the better."
[ top ]     
Henry David Thoreau (1817-62):
"It takes two to speak the truth-one to speak and another to hear."
[ top ]     
Thomas Henry Huxley (1825-95):
"Patience and tenacity of purpose are worth more than twice their weight of cleverness."
[ top ]     
Jan L.A. van de Snepscheut:
"In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is."
[ top ]     
Victor Hugo (1802-1885):
"All the forces in the world are not so powerful as an idea whose time has come."
[ top ]     
Blaise Pascal (1623-1662):
"Eloquence is a painting of the thoughts."
[ top ]     
Bertolt Brecht (1898-1956):
"Mixing one's wines may be a mistake, but old and new wisdom mix admirably."
[ top ]     
Frank Lloyd Wright (1869-1959):
"The present is the ever moving shadow that divides yesterday from tomorrow. In that lies hope."
[ top ]     
Samuel Johnson (1709-84):
"Curiosity is, in great and generous minds, the first passion and the last."
[ top ]     
Nikki Giovanni (b. 1943):
"Mistakes are a fact of life It is the response to error that counts."
[ top ]     
Niels Bohr (1885-1962):
"An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field."
[ top ]     
Juan Luis Vives (1492-1540):
"There is no better mirror to reflect man's image than his words."
[ top ]     
Madeleine L'Engle (1918- ):
"Truth is eternal, knowledge is changeable. It is disastrous to confuse them."
[ top ]     
Harper Lee:
"Many receive advice, only the wise profit from it."
[ top ]     
Moving Wording Example:
We've packed up the sofa
The broom and the kettle
This is where the (your last name here)
Have chosen to settle
[ top ]     
Moving Wording Example:
Kevin, Sherri, Mairead, Terry, Eilish and Kyra have a new home!

20 Englewood
Melvin, MI 48043
(800)870-3788
[ top ]     
Moving Wording Example:
The old homestead is not the same....
We've relocated and our address has changed
40 Englewood
Melvin, MI 48454
(00)870-3788

Kevin, Sherri, Mairead, Terry, Eilish and Kyra
[ top ]     
Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965):
"Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm."
[ top ]     
:
"Imagination is more important than knowledge."
[ top ]     
Eugene Ionesco (1912-1994):
"It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question."
[ top ]     
Edmund Burke (1729-1797):
"Our patience will achieve more than our force."
[ top ]     
Relatives of yours?:
A couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the husband replied, "In laws."
[ top ]     
Three friends in heaven:
Three buddies die in a car crash, and they go to heaven.

There, they are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning, what would you like to hear them say about you?"

The first guy says, "I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man."

The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow."

The last guy replies, "I would like to hear them say, 'Look! He's moving!'"
[ top ]     
English proverb.:
Where there's muck, there's brass."
[ top ]     
German Proverb:
A bad cause requires many words.
[ top ]     
Bad Day:
A bad day never had a good night.
[ top ]     
Bad Excuse:
A bad excuse is better than none.
[ top ]     
Bad Penny:
A bad penny always come back.
A bad penny always turns up.
[ top ]     
Romanian Proverb:
A bad tree does not yield young apples.
[ top ]     
Barley-Corn:
A barley-corn is better than a diamond to a cockerel.
[ top ]     
Bashful Beggar:
A bashful beggar has an empty purse.
[ top ]     
Quote:
"A weak man has doubts before a decision,
a strong man has them afterwards."
[ top ]     
William Blake (1757-1827):
"It is easier to forgive an enemy
than to forgive a friend."
[ top ]     
Sir Winston Churchill:
It is a mistake to try to look too far ahead.
The chain of destiny can only be grasped one link at a time.
[ top ]     
Welsh Proverb:
He that would be a leader must be a bridge.
[ top ]     
Latin Proverb:
If the wind will not serve, take to the oars.
[ top ]     
Plato (427 BC - 347 BC); Greek philosopher:
Time is the image of eternity.
[ top ]     
Vincent Van Gogh (1853-1890); Dutch painter.:
A good picture is equivalent to a good deed.
[ top ]     
Samuel Johnson (1709-1784):
We are inclined to believe those whom we do not know
because they have never deceived us.
[ top ]     
William Shakespeare (1564 -1616):
He that filches from me my good name,
robs me of that which not enriches him, but makes me poor indeed.
[ top ]     
Jean de La Fontaine (1621-1695):
A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.
[ top ]     
Norbert Wiener (1894-1964):
We have modified our environment so radically that we must now
modify ourselves in order to exist in this new environment".
[ top ]     
Marriage (Part II):
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!

The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever "

"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last"
[ top ]     
Pierre Corneille (1606-1684):
"To win without risk is to triumph without glory."
[ top ]     
Albert Einstein (1879-1955):
What sad times we are living in! It is easier to disintegrate an atom than a prejudice.
[ top ]     
John Donne (1572-1631):
Send not to know for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee.
[ top ]     
How to Stay Young:
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height.
Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay them.

2. Keep only cheerful friends.
The grouches pull you down.
(Keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches;)

3. Keep learning:
Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever.
Never let the brain get idle.
"An idle mind is the devil's workshop."
And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and Lots of time with HIM/HER.

6. The tears happen:
Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourself. LIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love:
Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health:
If it is good, preserve it.
If it is unstable, improve it.
If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips.
Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
[ top ]     
Forgive thy enemies?:
Toward the end of the service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?"
80% held up their hands.
The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one small elderly lady. "Mrs. Jones? Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?" the Minister asked.
"I don't have any" she replied, smiling sweetly.
"Mrs. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?"
"Ninety-eight" she replied.
"Mrs. Jones, would you please come down in front & tell the congregation how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?"
The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, smiled sweetly and said, "I outlived the #@&%@."
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Warn the Pope:
Year 1981

1. Prince Charles got married
2. Liverpool crowned Champions of Europe
3. Australia lost the Ashes
4. Pope Died


Year 2005

1 .Prince Charles got married (again)
2. Liverpool crowned Champions of Europe (again)
3. Australia lost the Ashes
4. Pope Died


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How Smart is Your Right Foot:
This is so funny that it will boggle your mind. And you will keep trying at least 50 more times to see if you can outsmart your foot, but you can't.

1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.

Your foot will change direction.
I told you so .....And there's nothing you can do about it.

Make sure you pass this on to your friends...they won't be able to believe it either!!
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Skinny Dipping:
An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice; picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some orange and peach trees. The pond was ideal for swimming, although he rarely did that anymore. One evening he decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket with which to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!" The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or to make you get out of the pond naked."
Holding the bucket up he said,"I'm here to feed the alligator."

Moral: Old men can still think fast.
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Rita S. Beer:
The Legend of the Pearl
Once a tiny grain of sand caught in the oyster's snare,
Now a precious miracle, a pearl beyond compare.
For to overcome the pain it could not understand,
The oyster made a blanket around the grain of sand.
In the face of suffering, a drastic change was spurred.
The oyster persevered until a miracle occurred.
Once a tiny grain of sand caught in the oyster's snare,
Now a precious miracle, a pearl beyond compare.
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Hawaiian Translations:
Aloha Greetings/Farewell
E komo mai Welcome
Komo mai Come in
Maika`i Fine
Maika`i nõ Very Fine
Aloha nui loa Very much love
Mahalo Thank you
Mahalo nui loa Thank you very much
Me ke aloha With love
Me ka pumehana With warmth
Aloha kãkou Aloha everyone
à hui hou Until we meet again
Aloha `oe Farewell to you
Mãlama pono Be careful/Take care
Hau`oli Lã Hãnau Happy Birthday
Hau`oli Makahiki Hou Happy New Year
Mele Kalikimaka Merry Christmas
Hele Go ahead
Kipa mai Come visit
Kipa hou mai! Come visit again!
Ho`i! Return!
Hana hou Do it again
Lawa Enough
Pau Finished
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Negative People:
This is something to think about when negative people are doing
their best to rain on your parade. Remember this story the next time
someone who knows nothing and cares less tries to make your life
miserable.

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a
trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the
hairdresser, who responded:

"Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and
dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible
airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and
they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber
River called Teste."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it's
gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump, the
worst hotel in the city! The rooms are small, the service is surly,
and they're overpriced. So, whatcha' doing when you get there?"
"We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other
people are trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good
luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The
hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome. "It was wonderful,"
explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's
brand new planes, but it was overbooked and they bumped us up to first
class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome
28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel was
great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job and now it's a
jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they
apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"
"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but
I know you didn't get to see the Pope."
"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the
Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the
Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to
step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.
Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the
door and shook my hand, I knelt down, and he spoke a few words to me."
"Oh, really! What'd he say?"
"He said: "Where did you get that crappy hairdo?"
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Fun Facts:
Here are some facts about the 1500s:

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married. * * * * * *

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children-last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water." * * * * * *

Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the dogs, cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs." * * * * * *

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could really mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence. * * * * * *

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying "dirt poor." * * * * * *

The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on the floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they kept adding more thresh until when you opened the door it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway. Hence the saying a "thresh hold." * * * * * *

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes the stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme, "Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old." * * * * * *

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man "could bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and "chew the fat." * * * * * *

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning and death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous. * * * * * *

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or "upper crust." * * * * * *

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock them out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather round and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a "wake." * * * * * *

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a "bone-house" and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins,1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they thought they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the "graveyard shift") to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be "saved by the bell" or was considered a "dead ringer." * * * * * *

Sent in by Carolyn Marvinetz
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TWELVE STEP INTERNET RECOVERY PROGRAM:
1) I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my newspaper like I used to, before the Internet.

2) I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing.

3) I will get dressed before noon.

4) I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes, and plan dinner before even thinking of the Internet.

5) I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate few friends and family that are Internet-deprived.

6) I will call someone on the phone who I cannot contact via the Internet.

7) I will read a book...if I still remember how.

8) I will listen to those around me and their needs and stop telling them to turn the TV down so I can hear the music on the Internet.

9) I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check for email.

10) I will try and get out of the house at least once a week, if it is necessary or not.

11) I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget to balance my checkbook because I was too busy on the Internet.

12) Last, but not least, I will remember that I must go to bed sometime... and the Internet will always be there tomorrow!
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Interesting Facts about Iraq:
Just in case you might think of Iraq as "only" an oil rich nation, ruled by an evil dictator for 30 years, whether it has been supporting terrorists or may not be very important, here are a few important facts regarding the important history and roles that this nation has played down through history*

1. The garden of Eden was in Iraq.

2. Mesopotamia which is now Iraq was the cradle of civilization!

3. Noah built the ark in Iraq.

4. The Tower of Babel was in Iraq.

5. Abraham was from Ur, which is in Southern Iraq!

6. Isaac's wife Rebekah is from Nahor which is in Iraq.

7. Jacob met Rachel in Iraq.

8. Jonah preached in Nineveh - which is in Iraq.

9. Assyria which is in Iraq conquered the ten tribes of Israel.

10. Amos cried out in Iraq!

11. Babylon which is in Iraq destroyed Jerusalem.

12. Daniel was in the lion's den in Iraq!

13. The 3 Hebrew children were in the fire in Iraq (that's good news to know that JESUS has been in Iraq too as the 4th person in the fiery furnace!)

14. Belshazzar, the King of Babylon saw the "writing on the wall" in Iraq.

15. Nebuchadnezzar, King of Babylon, carried the Jews captive into Iraq.

16. Ezekiel preached in Iraq.

17. The wise men were from Iraq.

18. Peter preached in Iraq.

19. The "Empire of Man" described in Revelation is called Babylon which was a city in Iraq!

And you have probably seen this one. Israel is the nation most often mentioned in the Bible. But do you know which nation is second? It is Iraq! However, that is not the name that is used in the Bible. The names used in the Bible are Babylon, Land of Shinar, and Mesopotamia. The word Mesopotamia means between the two rivers, more exactly between the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers. The name Iraq, means country with deep roots. Indeed Iraq is a country with deep roots and is a very significant country in the Bible. Here's why.

* Eden was in Iraq--Genesis 2:10-14
* Adam & Eve were created in Iraq--Genesis 2:7-8
* Satan made his first recorded appearance in Iraq--Genesis 3:1-6
* Nimrod established Babylon & Tower of Babel was built in Iraq-- Genesis 10:8-97 & 11:1-4
* The confusion of the languages took place in Iraq--Genesis 11:5-11
* Abraham came from a city in Iraq--Genesis 11:31 & Acts 7:2-4
* Isaac's bride came from Iraq--Genesis 24:3-4 & 10
* Jacob spent 20 years in Iraq--Genesis 27:42-45 & 31:38
* The first world Empire was in Iraq--Daniel 1:1-2 &2:36-38
* The greatest revival in history was in a city in Iraq--Jonah 3
* The events of the book of Esther took place in Iraq--Esther
* The book of Nahum was a prophecy against a city in Iraq--Nahum
* The book or Revelation has prophecies against Babylon, which was the old name for the nation of Iraq--Revelation 17 & 18

No other nation, except Israel, has more history and prophecy associated it than Iraq
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A Fun Story:
His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day, while trying to make a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog. There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what could have been a slow and terrifying death.

The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's sparse surroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved.

"I want to repay you," said the nobleman. "You saved my son's life."

"No, I can't accept payment for what I did," the Scottish farmer replied waving off the offer. At that moment, the farmer's own son came to the door of the family hovel.

"Is that your son?" the nobleman asked.

"Yes," the farmer replied proudly.

"I'll make you a deal. Let me provide him with the level of education my own son will enjoy. If the lad is anything like his father, he'll no doubt grow to be a man we both will be proud of." And that he did. Farmer Fleming's son attended the very best schools and in time, graduated from St. Mary's Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin.

Years afterward, the same nobleman's son who was saved from the bog was stricken with pneumonia.

What saved his life this time? Penicillin.

The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill. His son's name?

Sir Winston Churchill.

Someone once said: What goes around comes around.
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How to keep a healthy level of insanity.:
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car w/sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in."

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to Espresso.

6. Write "For Sexual Favors" in the memo line of all of your checks.

7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Maria.

17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!", "I Won!" "3rd time this week!!!!!

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let oneof you go."

And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity.......

20. Send this to everyone in your address book.
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Great Truths:
GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the joy.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.

SUCCESS:
At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 20 success is . . . having sex.
At age 35 success is . . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 60 success is . . . having sex.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
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Health Question and Answer Session:
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise.
Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster.
Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO .... Cocoabeans ... another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A : Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets and remember,
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - strawberries in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming - WOO HOO! What a Ride!"
For entertainment purposes only. Not intended as medical advice. Please seek any and all medical advice from your physician.
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Hermann Hesse (1877-1962), German-born Swiss writer:
"Without words, without writing and without books there would be no history, there could be no concept of humanity"
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